Private View

Private View

I went to a private view the other evening, and it made me realize
what strange events they are. For a start they’re not private. There were at least sixty other people at the exhibition. Mostly friends of the various painters, although they seemed more intent on the free wine and canapés than the art.
And due to, some would say over crowding, you didn’t get a very good view of the works of art. Although I have to say on the couple of occasions I managed to get close to a picture, this was not necessarily a bad thing.
Perhaps if I’d have worn sunglasses as a few of my fellow guests had, things might have looked better. Of course the artists were there. Well one assumed they were artists. You would hardly have gone out in public like that if you weren’t a bohemian.
But then I suppose that’s part of the event. You think he or she don’t look as if they’ve got two pennies to rub together, I’d better buy something. That is until you see the prices. The prices. Hell, I could buy a Picasso for less than they want for a series of splodges in different colours called ‘Mother & Child Reborn’.
However people must have seen something they liked, because after about an hour, and several bottles of wine, a few red dots started appearing on the paintings, indicating they’d been sold.
Well, I assumed they’d been sold. Of course, it could have been a ploy to ‘encourage les autres’ as they say. But that’s only a private view.







Sock Market Crisis


Sock Market Crisis
I’m very worried about what I feel could be a new world crisis. It’s all to do with what’s happening in the sock market. I don’t know the whole situation – worldwide I mean – but if Fulham and Chelsea (London boroughs) are anything to go by then the sock market is in trouble.
Certainly as far as my own researches and observations are concerned socks look to be pricing themselves out of the market.
Quite clearly people can’t afford them any more. My evidence for this is the increasing number of people who, even with the onset of winter, are not wearing socks. And it’s not as if they are wearing the dreaded sandals (although far too many are), no I’m talking about men (and women) wearing brogues, trainers, loafers, even granddad’s old hob nailed boots without the benefit of socks. And the only reason I can see for this is that, un-noticed by the world’s media, the price of socks must have gone through the roof, to a point where people have had to choose between putting food in their mouths or socks on their feet.
I have to admit I’m worried. While I have a plentiful supply of socks at the moment – colours to match trousers, thickness to match different shoe types – some of them are old and need replacing. I think if the crisis deepens I will choose socks over food. I mean Mummy would turn in her jeweled casket if she thought that I wasn’t wearing socks.
Of course, there is a marketing opportunity here. Paper socks. Make your own socks, after all newspapers should be good for something – they’re certainly not very good at getting their facts right. For example The Times or Telegraph for formal attire – Dinner Jacket, tails, business suit. The Guardian if you’re in the police or work in security, The Sun for holiday wear, The FT for financial services, The Mirror for people in show biz. The opportunities are endless.
Although quite who would find the Mosquito News appropriate is hard to see.